Traveling While Autistic

About the Author

Alex Karp is an Autistic software engineering manager. He lives with his beautiful wife, Maggie, and their adorable cockapoo, Chicken Nugget. When he’s not working, he loves to travel, play the piano, drink whiskey, and bring back the 1920s with his love of dancing the Lindy Hop.

He is also the author of Running Start: How to get a job in tech, keep that job, and thrive. (Also available pay-what-you-can/free here.)

Follow him on social:

• @autistic.af on Bluesky
• @[email protected]  on Mastodon
• @AutisticManager on Twitter/X (Deprecated) 

Whether it’s the majestic rolling hills of the Scottish Highlands, the hustle and bustle of Mexico City, or the history of a city divided in Berlin, I love to travel. My wife would even call travel one of my special interest areas. I love the anticipation, the change of scenery, staying in a hotel, and being in complete control of my time. It’s a break from my usual routine and everything feels like an adventure. But I also know that for a lot of Autistic people, myself included, travel can be overwhelming and a sensory nightmare. I’d like to share why I enjoy traveling and what I do to lessen the negative aspects to make it a great experience.

Why I Enjoy Traveling

I’ve traveled a lot over the last 10 years — 25 cities in 8 countries on 2 continents. I’ve traveled for work, to visit family and friends, to speak at conferences, to explore, and even to participate in dance workshops and events. I’ve had amazing experiences and terrible ones.

Here is why I like it so much:

• Points, Status, and Optimization. Like I said, travel is one of my special interest areas, and that includes planning the trip. I love to get a good bang for my buck when I travel. How do I do that? Earning airline miles and credit card points, strategically gaining status with airlines and hotels, and doing research to figure out how to redeem those miles and points for the greatest value. (My dream? Redeeming 130,000 miles for a roundtrip, first class flight from JFK to Tokyo on All Nippon Airways — which would typically run an eye-watering cash price of nearly $25,000.)
• The Anticipation. There is nothing better than the anticipation of my next trip. In some ways, the anticipation can be better than the trip itself! It’s so much fun to daydream about the things I’m going to do, places to visit, and the things to eat.
• The Adventure. There is something about being in a new city that makes everything feel like an adventure. Taking the subway? An adventure. Going on a long walk? An adventure. Even going to the convenience store next to your hotel feels like an adventure. Aside from going to specific places to do specific things, like museums or landmarks, I like leaving time for unstructured exploration. For me, that usually means walking around or taking public transit. In one visit to London, I walked 36 miles throughout the city over the course of three days!

What I Don’t Enjoy About Traveling

As much as I love to travel, there are definitely things that I don’t always enjoy. Here are some of the things I find difficult and what I do to make it easier.

• Other People. I often joke that one of my two core tenets is “Other people are the worst.” That’s because I have a hard time being around a lot of people. It’s difficult for me to follow multiple conversations, people move unpredictably, and my brain has a hard time processing all of the sensory and spatial input around me. And even without all of that, I tend to be awkward in social situations with people I haven’t met before. Boarding a plane, waiting for a train on a crowded platform, or going to a busy part of town are all times when I have trouble dealing with people. If I can’t move to somewhere with fewer people or find a way to block out the crowd, I try to push through it knowing I will need time to recover later.
• Overwhelm. As much as I enjoy the adventure, I’m easily overwhelmed by new things. In fact, that’s my other core tenet: “New is always bad.” Whether it’s sensory overload or some other kind of distress, it can be very challenging to deal with in the moment. To help in these moments, I’ve taken to always carrying around a few comfort items. For instance, I always have a miniature version of my baby blanket in my pocket, which I’ll often use to stim and re-regulate. I also almost always have my Kindle in my pocket, so I have something to escape into if need be.
• Exhaustion. On trips where I’m trying to do a lot of things, especially visiting multiple cities, exhaustion is a real issue. Whether it’s the physical exhaustion of spending all day on my feet or the mental and emotional exhaustion of spending a lot of time at events where there is a great deal of socializing, there can be some days where I feel like just doing nothing. I believe traveling shouldn’t be stressful if you can avoid it. So there are a few things that I do to practice self-care in these situations.

1. I’ll ask myself if there is a specific aspect of the next item on my itinerary that I’m particularly worried about. If there is, I’ll try to figure out if there is anything I can do or tell myself to help. Trying to visualize what’s going to happen and what things will look and feel like often helps. Another thing that often helps me is identifying a potential escape plan in case I get too overwhelmed.
2. I’ll see if there is something else I could do instead that feels more doable.
3. If all else fails, I remind myself that it is okay to cancel and rest if I need it. I’d rather enjoy a trip and do fewer things than stress myself out trying to do as much as possible.

• Missing Friends & Family While I often travel with my wife, I also travel alone. I enjoy traveling alone, but I definitely miss her when I’m on a trip longer than a few days. I often feel this on trips of a week or more. Especially if I’m feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, I miss her a little extra. When this happens, I’ll give my wife a call. I’ll also remind myself that I should try to focus on being in the moment and enjoying my time there.
• Traveling with Others. As much as I enjoy traveling with others, it always involves compromise. Compromise is a part of life, but not always a fun part. Either you advocate for yourself — which requires speaking up, negotiating, and navigating the feelings of others — or you let the others decide and hope for the best. If the group is particularly indecisive, negotiations could go on for a long time. When traveling with others, I try to at least make sure that there is something I can eat or that it’s an activity that I can do, even if it’s not what I would have chosen overall. Sometimes I’ll make a suggestion. But I’ve also started becoming more okay with doing my own thing, if needed.
• Masking. Masking is a part of life and no matter how much time I’ve spent learning to unmask, traveling sometimes requires it. Especially if I’m in another country, I feel extra pressure to blend in and not draw attention to myself. I end up suppressing parts of my Autistic self in an effort to appear more neurotypical. And I feel like I have to work extra hard to observe and emulate any differences in cultural norms. In cases where I feel drained from masking, I either spend some time by myself, or I find a space where I feel like I don’t have to mask as much. My favorite places? A local swing dance or a whisky bar.

Making a Round-Trip

I love traveling because it is an amazing opportunity to see and experience things that I wouldn’t normally get to. And there are all sorts of perks like getting to eat out and not having to clean my own bathroom. Traveling isn’t always easy, and there are definitely times where it takes its toll. But finding ways to ease the difficult parts keeps me looking forward to my next adventure!