How to Create Joy While Autistic

About the Author

Becca Lory Hector is the director of training at AANE and an openly Autistic professional dedicated to closing the disability gap in leadership by helping companies attract and retain Disabled talent through belonging-centered practices. She is an autism and Neurodiversity advocate, researcher, consultant, speaker, and author, with a particular focus on Autistic Quality of Life research. Becca is also an animal lover with a special affinity for cats, and she spends most of her “free” time with her many animals and her husband, Antonio.

As a group, Autistics have learned not to prioritize our personal joy, and that stinks. We are constantly being told that what gives us joy is “weird,” “bad,” or even “wrong.” I’m here to tell you that not only is that a GIANT LIE, but it’s also long past time for us to reclaim our right to joy.

Like all human beings, it is essential to our wellness that we experience our version of joy. Maybe that comes from mastering a new language or creating a brilliant bit of code. Perhaps it’s the result of freely stimming to your favorite song or hyper-focusing on a new special interest. Regardless of how “odd” the source is, you deserve to experience joy in its purest form as much as anyone else. More than that, your mind and body need joy to function at their best. That’s right, you need joy.

As you begin to reclaim your joy, remember that the goal isn’t to create enough joy to push sadness away, but rather to create more joy to balance sadness. After all, joy cannot exist without sadness. In fact, you must experience the depth of sadness to truly feel the lightness of joy. The trick to creating joy is to use your energy to build it, rather than wasting it on the impossible task of eliminating sadness. Think of your goal as creating enough joy to steady the weight of life’s inevitable sadness. If more sadness arrives, simply create the joy you need to counterbalance it.

Creating joy doesn’t have to be difficult, but reclaiming it can be. If you’re ready for more joy in your life, here are some ideas to get you started:

Challenge Yourself: Nothing creates joy like a good bit of success. Set yourself up for that joyful feeling of accomplishment by taking on a new project, skill, or hobby. It helps if it’s something you’ve wanted to do for a long time but kept finding excuses not to. Those are some joyful wins. When we challenge ourselves and succeed, we find joy.

Actively Seek Inspiration: Looking for joy but it just isn’t happening? No worries; it’s simply time to seek out inspiration. Engage in activities that tend to spark joy, like spending time in nature or meditating. Pursue experiences that stretch your perception and challenge your perspective. When we’re inspired, we find joy.

Play More: It’s time to reconnect with your inner child. Remember eight-year-old you, the one who loved jumping in puddles in a thunderstorm or getting dirty in the garden? No? Okay, that was me, but you have your own version of eight-year-old you, and that kid knew how to play. Time to dig out those old special interests, let go, and play. When we play freely, we find joy.

Nurture Yourself: When you take the time to focus on your own needs, joy comes more easily. Set aside time to get away from the “noise of life” and do something just for you. Whether it’s a walk in the woods, a quiet crafting session, or a long nap, do it! These are the moments that recharge us and make space for happiness. When we make caring for ourselves a priority, we find joy.

A Note for the Holiday Season
The holidays can bring a unique mix of joy, routine disruption, and sensory overload for many of us in the Autistic community. Whether you love the lights and gatherings or prefer quiet and consistency, give yourself permission to experience the season in ways that genuinely support your well-being. Maybe that means setting boundaries around events, creating comforting rituals, or finding joy in the small, quiet moments others overlook.

This time of year also often invites reflection: on what we’ve lost, what we’ve built, and what still brings light into our lives. This year has been particularly painful for our community, and it’s important to remember that joy can also be found in connection with those who understand us, share our experiences, and remind us that we aren’t alone. Community itself can be a powerful source of joy. However the season finds you, remember that your version of joy doesn’t have to match anyone else’s. Create the moments that nourish you, big or small, and let that be enough.

Now, it’s time to get out there and reclaim your joy.

Seriously… stop reading about it, and go create your joy!

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