Masking: A Guide

About the Author

Jay Eveson-Egler, BA (they/them) is an Autistic self-advocate and parent. They’ve worked with neurodiversity-based organizations and individuals in a variety of age groups and stages of life. They have a depth of knowledge of LGBTQIA2S+ issues in the Autistic community. They have prior experience founding and facilitating neurodiverse peer support groups and remain active as an adviser with the Neurodiverse Students Association at Mount Holyoke.

What is Masking?

Masking, also called camouflaging, is something many Autistic people do to fit in with societal expectations. It means changing, hiding, or copying behaviors to blend into neurotypical environments. Autistic people may mask for various reasons, such as avoiding judgment, meeting societal expectations, or to fit into social situations. This often involves mimicking social behaviors, hiding stims, or suppressing Autistic traits to fit into environments that may not be accommodating. Unfortunately, masking often becomes second nature, making it difficult for some to differentiate between their authentic selves and the facade they’ve become used to presenting.

What Does Masking Look like?

There are a few common ways Autistic people mask. One is by hiding natural, Autistic traits. This might mean stopping self-soothing behaviors like tapping or rocking, avoiding talking about favorite interests, or pretending sensory issues don’t bother them, even when they do.  Another way is by copying neurotypical behaviors, like forcing themselves to make eye contact, using specific gestures, adopting interests that aren’t genuine, or showing certain facial expressions during conversations. These things don’t always feel natural and can take a lot of effort to remember to do, as if they were putting on a performance.

Similar to a performance, some Autistic people also use scripts or rehearse what to say before social interactions. They might focus hard on social rules, like when to say “thank you” or how to respond politely, even if understanding the timing may not come naturally. They may repeat social interactions they perceive as successful. Many also hide their feelings or distress because they’ve learned that showing emotions can lead to misunderstandings or negative reactions.

The Costs of Masking

While masking can help people navigate the world, it can also be exhausting. Doing it too much or for too long can lead to burnout, identity confusion, and feeling overwhelmed. Many people who look for a diagnosis later in life are often misdiagnosed in part because, after spending their whole lives hiding their true selves to fit in, they may appear to have a very mixed or unclear sense of identity when undergoing testing.

Studies suggest masking is linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation. While masking itself might not directly cause these conditions, its association with poor mental health highlights its toll on individuals who feel compelled to hide their true selves. Prolonged masking can also damage relationships, as it may prevent the development of genuine connections, leaving individuals feeling unseen, lonely, or misunderstood. It may also lead to a damaged ability to form strong emotional connections.

For many, masking begins early in life, such as in school settings where Autistic students feel pressure to conform. This can lead to emotional breakdowns in safe environments, such as home, after the strain of maintaining the mask all day. Parents may experience this as emotional dysregulation, fatigue, or lack of motivation in the home environment. Autistic individuals may experience this as extra sensitivity, having a short fuse, needing to “turn their brains off” with a preferred activity, and many other ways. Without proper diagnosis and support, the cycle continues, leaving individuals without the accommodations and tools that could improve their quality of life.

Masking and Late Diagnoses

Masking is one reason why many Autistic women and nonbinary individuals remain undiagnosed until later on in life. Research indicates that masking may be more common among these groups, potentially explaining why they are often overlooked in diagnostic settings. This invisibility perpetuates a lack of support, increasing the likelihood of burnout and mental health struggles.

Recent changes to the DSM-V-TR recognize that Autistic traits can be masked into adulthood, before pressure from maintaining that mask causes social difficulties and increasingly visible Autistic traits as the mask starts to slip after years of pressure and shifting priorities that come with age.

Unmasking and Seeking Support

Creating spaces where Autistic people can unmask is a challenging task to take on. One way we can do that is by helping non-Autistic people better understand Autistic behaviors and ways of thinking. When people recognize and accept autism, they tend to judge less harshly. While changing society’s views takes time, it’s important to focus on what can be done now to support the well-being and mental health of Autistic individuals.

Unmasking doesn’t mean abandoning all coping strategies. Instead, it’s about identifying when masking may feel necessary for safety and when it might be okay to let it go. Building self-awareness is a crucial first step, as it helps individuals notice patterns in their masking and understand its effects. Many individuals, especially those diagnosed later in life, struggle to recognize when they are engaging in masking, and end up struggling a lot with self-esteem issues, often ruminating on social interactions. Practicing self-compassion can help reduce internalized shame or stigma. 

Support is also essential. Therapists, peer groups, and trusted friends can provide guidance and encouragement as Autistic individuals explore what unmasking looks like for them. The ultimate goal is to create a world where masking isn’t something people feel they have to do, but a choice they can make with agency and care.

Further information and resources on masking:

Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price