A Note on “Realizing Your Autistic Identity in Adulthood”

About the Authors

Becca Lory Hector is the director of training at AANE and an openly Autistic professional dedicated to closing the disability gap in leadership by helping companies attract and retain Disabled talent through belonging-centered practices. She is an autism and Neurodiversity advocate, researcher, consultant, speaker, and author, with a particular focus on Autistic Quality of Life research. Becca is also an animal lover with a special affinity for cats, and she spends most of her “free” time with her many animals and her husband, Antonio.

Mina Fonze (she/her) is a late diagnosed Autistic self advocate with a focus on intersectionality. She has worked with AANE in IFS as an administrative coordinator, support group facilitator, and now senior manager. In her spare time she enjoys horror, pasta, being harassed by her cats, and rewatching episodes of Bob’s Burgers or The Twilight Zone for the umpteenth time.

Dear AANE Community,

Some of us were recognized early. Some of us found our own missing chapter at 35, 50, or 72, often while reading an article about someone else and thinking, “Wait a minute…” 

This month AANE is celebrating both paths to discovering Autistic identity, and if you have ever wondered which one is “better,” we have news: neither comes with a user manual, and both come with plenty of plot twists on the journey.

If your journey started in adulthood, we would love for you to join us this January (or June)!

We are Becca Lory Hector, AANE’s Director of Learning and Innovation Strategist, and Mina Fonze, Senior Manager of Individual and Family Services, and we are teaming up for Realizing Your Autistic Identity in Adulthood, a 90 minute, neuro-affirming workshop all about what late identification can really look like.

And we are saving you a seat!

Yes, what discovery “can look like” is doing a lot of work there, because there is no single doorway in. Maybe you have a formal diagnosis. Maybe you have self-identified after years of quiet research. Maybe you are still in the questioning stage, with fourteen browser tabs open and a growing list of childhood memories that suddenly make a lot more sense. (The torture of sock seams. The tags that had to be cut out of all clothing. The very specific lunch routine. The three hour deep dive into the history of lighthouses.) Wherever you are standing right now, you belong in this room with us.

We know that being identified as Autistic later in life brings a lot to process all at once. Relief and grief can show up in the same afternoon. So together, we will dig into the big stuff so many adults run into: masking, burnout, disclosure, and the ways relationships can shift once you start understanding yourself differently. Who do you tell? How much do you share? What happens when you stop performing “fine” and start doing what actually works for your brain? We will bring the conversation starters. You bring your questions.

Most importantly, we are keeping this space shame free from start to finish. We will explore inclusive ways to build self understanding, figure out what matters most to you right now, and connect with support that actually fits.

This workshop is for the newly identified, the still wondering, the partners and family members trying to understand, and the professionals who want to better support adults on this path. Come as you are, and all are welcome to attend and learn together — and we mean all.

We are offering two dates so you can pick what works for you: Thursday, January 21, 2027, 12:00 to 1:30 p.m. ET or Tuesday, June 15, 2027, 12:00 to 1:30 p.m. ET. (Link will be added for June when registration opens.)

Grab your favorite fidget, a cozy drink, and your curiosity, and come spend some of your day with us. We would be so glad to have you there.

See you soon,
Becca and Mina